A Merlin Musical
by xXI R I S H bloodXx
Summary: Coauthored with my friends, Aubrey and Mia. When a spell cast by Merlin goes horribly wrong, the entire castle is turned into a musical. Hilarity with some seriousness ensues and nothing will ever be the same again. Gwen/Arthur DISCONTINUED
1. Introduction

Merlin found himself, once again, doing his exceedingly long list of chores given to him by his Royal Prattness, himself.

Sighing, he continued to polish Arthur's armor, his last chore for the day. He was so tired, his arms ached, his back hurt, and he was having an all-around bad day. He just wanted to go to bed and sleep it all off. But, he had to polish the stupid armor.

Suddenly, Merlin got an idea. It was dangerous, but he was so tired. He looked around before turning to stare intently at the armor.

"_Ic Haele Thina Throwunga!"_

Suddenly, a pulse went through the entire castle, sending Merlin and others throughout the castle to be knocked down.

As he lost consciousness, Merlin couldn't help but notice that the armor was still lying where he left it, still dirty.


	2. Chapter 1

Merlin opened his eyes and blinked the sleep away. When he could focus, he saw that the armor he had been previously polishing was still in its dirtied state on the ground. He got up and groaned, knowing that he would have to finish cleaning it later if he didn't want to get a sarcastic scolding from Arthur.

Moving towards the fallen armor, he picked up Arthur's helmet and stared at.

"Why didn't the spell work?"

Before he could ponder it any further, Gwaine burst into the room, looking flustered.

"Merlin...you need to see this. Percival is acting strange and it is slightly freaking me out."

Merlin furrowed his brows in confusion before running after Gwaine down the corridor to the council chambers.

When they got to the chambers, Merlin was faced with a scene that he never thought was possible. All of the knights and the lords of the court along with Royal Prat were all standing around the table. That was not what was out of the ordinary. What was strange was the fact that Percival, cut off chain mail and all, was standing on the long table in the center of the room staring out into the audience that was gathering around him.

Turning to Gwaine, Merlin asked, "Why is he standing on the table?"

Gwaine shrugged with a look of utter confusion and shock on his face.

Before anything else could be said, Percival started strutting down the long table as music started playing in the background. Then, the really weird stuff started; Percival started singing.

_I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love_

_Love's going to leave me_

_I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt_

_So sexy it hurts_

_And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan_

_New York and Japan_

Percival got to the end of the table and began to unstrap his chain mail. The look on all of the knights' faces went from confused to horrified in a split second. They had no idea what was happening to their friend. Percival was not one to do anything like this, even when he was drunk. That was always Gwaine's department.

After riding himself of the chain mail and being reduced to the padded shirt underneath, Percival threw the chain mail over his shoulder, turned on his heal and strutting back down the table.

_And I'm too sexy for your party_

_Too sexy for your part _

_No way I'm disco dancing_

_I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car_

_Too sexy by far_

_And I'm too sexy for my hat_

_Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that_

_I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I shake my little touche on the catwalk_

Once he reached the end of the table he turned, struck a pose, and began to take off the padded shirt and his under shirt at the same time. The horrified looks spread to the lords of the court as well, not appreciating what was happening in front of them.

Leon, seeing enough, went to his friend and tried to pull him off the table, but to no avail. Percival would not be moved. Once he got the other shirts off, he threw them off to the side, hitting Leon in the face with them and walked once more down the table continuing to sing as he went.

_I'm too sexy for my uhn too sexy for my uhn _

_too sexy for my uhn_

_'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I shake my little touche on the catwalk_

_I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat _

_Poor pussy poor pussy cat_

_I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love_

_Love's going to leave me_

_And I'm too sexy for this song_

Once he reached the end of the table and the song, he struck another pose, before jumping off the table, scaring those standing before it.

He then walked, completely shirtless out of the chambers and walked purposefully down the hallway, leaving those in the room completely starstruck and unable to form complete thoughts.

Merlin, for his part, had his suspicions that what happened with Percival is the direct result in his spell.

Quickly and quietly, Merlin escaped the council chambers and rushed down to Giaus', avoiding Arthur. He had to figure out what was happening before anybody else burst into song!

A/N: BTW: This was the chipmunk'd version due to an ongoing joke between Mia, Aubrey, and I about how someone as big as Percival has a high pitched voice.

Here is the link:

.com/watch?v=5Fjh5Ss5bZw


	3. Chapter 2

Merlin all but sprinted down the hallway to Gaius' chambers. Bursting the door open and effectively scaring Gaius, Merlin ran in, panting.

"Gaius…We have a _small_ problem."

Gaius didn't look particularly surprised, used to Merlin having _small _problems all the time. He simply rolled his eyes and turned to his ward before asking the ever present question; "What did you do now?"

Grimacing at the thought of the scolding that he was about to receive from his mentor, Merlin took a breath and began to explain.

"I cast a spell a spell to finish my chores, but it didn't work and it knocked me out and when I woke I was called by Gwaine to the council chambers where Percival was dancing on the table and singing some strange song and now I don't know what to do!"

Gaius stared at Merlin in surprise, trying to comprehend what he had just said. It took a moment before things clicked in his mind. Sighing, Gaius sat down on his bench and looked disapprovingly at the boy before him.

"Merlin, how many times do I have to tell you-"

"-Not to do magic with my chores. I know, I know. But, that's not the problem right now. Did you not hear the part about Percival singing?"

"I'm sure that it will wear off eventually," Gaius stated before standing and beginning to work on his experiments again.

"It'll just…wear off?" Merlin couldn't quite believe that that could actually happen, but then again, it has happened before. So, who's to say that it won't happen again?

Merlin simply shrugged, too tired to think about and turns back out the door to begin his chores before it becomes even later than it already was. He already was in for one of Arthurs "scoldings."

Dragging his feet slowly towards the King's chambers, Merlin was still thinking over the strange scene that had played out early that day. The picture of Percival basically molesting the council table was permentantly burned in Merlin's mind. He was never going to be able to look at Percival the same way ever again…

Shuddering at the thoughts in his mind, Merlin stopped before the King's chamber door. Strange music was wafting through the doors. For a moment, Merlin was sure what was happening. But, then it clicked.

Eyes widening, Merlin threw the doors open and was greeted with the sight of King Arthur dancing around his room shirtless.

_Hail Caesar shadow on my backseat_

_And her friends are standing right in front of me_

_Worldwide from the Cimmaron to Turkey_

_Open up, said everybody loves me_

_And you don't have to make a sound'_

_Cause they got what you need, what you need_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Got love for the people that have warned you_

_God love all your sentimental virtue_

_Eight balls with the takers that'll make you_

_Lay cards with the lovers that'll hate you_

_And you don't have to make a sound_

_They got what you need, what you need_

_Make you sayOh my, feels just like I don't try_

_Look so good I might die_

_All I know is everybody loves me_

_Head down, swaying to my own sound_

_Flashes in my face now_

_All I know is everybody loves me_

_Everybody loves me, everybody loves me_

Without warning, the still shirtless king walked out the door and began to walk purposefully down the hallway. Merlin grabbed a random shirt from the wardrobe and ran after the King.

"Sire! You need your shirt!"

The King just turned around, walked up to Merlin and said: "I didn't ask for your opinion, _Mer_lin!" He then turned on his heel and strutted down the hallway once more.

Merlin was irritated at the King's attitude, not really in the mood to dealing with it. Suddenly, Merlin's thoughts changed into the form of song lyrics just waiting to burst out of him. Music started playing and before Merlin could react or do anything to try and stop it, he was singing.

_(Ooh) What you want_

_(Ooh) Baby, I got_

_(Ooh) What you need_

_(Ooh) Do you know I've got it_

_(Ooh) All I'm askin'_

_(Ooh) Is for a little respect when you come home (Just a little bit)_

_Hey baby (Just a little bit) when you get home_

_(Just a little bit) mister (Just a little bit)_

_I ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone_

_Ain't gonna do you wrong (Ooh) 'cause I don't want to (Ooh)_

_All I'm askin' (Ooh)_

_Is for a little respect when you come home (Just a little bit)_

_Baby (Just a little bit) when you get home (just a little bit)_

_Yeah (Just a little bit)_

_I'm about to give you all of my money_

_And all I'm askin' in return, honey_

_Is to give me my profits_

_When you get home (Just a, just a, just a, just a)_

_Yeah baby (Just a, just a, just a, just a)_

_When you get home (Just a little bit)_

_Yeah (Just a little bit)_

Merlin found himself standing in the courtyard, George and other servants behind him, standing with their hand on their hips (like Merlin himself was doing), facing Arthur and his knights. He didn't really understand how he got where he was and he was sure that he was going to regret this whole thing later.

However, before he could ponder his fate any further, Arthur once again began singing.

_Well I, pray the music, don't stop till I turn gray_

_Stars forever like John Sousa never fade_

_He had a beautiful child, named her Desiree_

_Hope I'm remembered for the things that I never made_

_'Cause you don't have to make a sound_

_When they got what you need_

_Make you say_

_Oh my, feels just like I don't try_

_Look so good I might die_

_All I know is everybody loves me_

_Head down, swaying to my own sound_

_Flashes in my face now _

_All I know is everybody loves me Everybody loves me_

_Everybody_

_Everybody, oh_

_Everybody_

_Everybody_

_Don't need my health_

_Got my name and got my wealth_

_Stare at the sun _

_Just for kicks all by myself_

_Lose track of time_

_So I might be past my prime_

_But I'm feeling, oh so good_

_Yeah _

_Oh my, feels just like I don't try_

_Look so good I might die_

_All I know is everybody loves me_

_Head down, swaying to my own sound_

_Flashes in my face now_

_All I know is everybody loves me_

_Everybody loves me_

_Don't you know who you are?_

_Everybody_

_Everybody_

_Everybody_

_WHOA_

On the last part of the song, Arthur had slid on his knees across the stone, skidding to a halt before Merlin and the other servants. Still on his knees, he looked very proud of himself, as if that song had proven just how amazing he truly was.

"Don't forget to muck out my horses, _Mer_lin."

Merlin, even angrier than he was before, felt the lyrics bubble up within him again and before he could stop it, he was singing.

_R-E-S-P-E-C-T_

_Find out what it means to me_

_R-E-S-P-E-C-T_

_Take care, TCB_

_Oh (Sock it to me, sock it to me,_

_sock it to me, sock it to me)_

_A little respect (Sock it to me, sock it to me,_

_sock it to me, sock it to me)_

_Whoa, babe (Just a little bit)_

_A little respect (Just a little bit)_

_I get tired (Just a little bit)_

_Keep on tryin' (Just a little bit)_

_You're runnin' out of foolin' (Just a little bit)_

_And I ain't lyin' (Just a little bit)_

_(Re, re, re, re) 'spect_

_When you come home (Re, re, re ,re)_

_Or you might walk in (Respect, just a little bit)_

_And find out I'm gone (Just a little bit)_

_I got to have (Just a little bit)_

_A little respect (Just a little bit)_

Whilst singing, Merlin and the other servants had moved forward towards Arthur and his knights, causing the King, still on the ground, to back pedal away for fear of being stepped on.

After the song was over, Merlin and Arthur stared at each other. Arthur suddenly seemed to realize what was happening to them. A look of angry confusion crossed his face before he grabbed Merlin and dragged him away to find out what in the bloody hell was happening to the people of Camelot.


	4. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Merlin related….as sad as that is.

Arthur's grip on Merlin's shirt was strong and demanding as he dragged him down the hallway. They didn't stop until they reached the King's chambers. Arthur threw Merlin through the doorway and walked through himself.

He stalked to the wardrobe, grabbed a shirt and angrily tugged it on before turning to Merlin.

"What the hell was that about, _Mer_lin?" He demanded. For a moment, Merlin was worried that he knew that it was Merlin that cast the spell. But then he realized how ridiculous that thought was. Arthur was about as observant as a cow and as sharp as a butter knife. There was no way that he would know that it was Merlin.

"I have no idea," Merlin said, giving his best confused look.

"First Percival started randomly singing and then we started….this has to be the work of sorcery!" Arthur exclaimed, a proud look of accomplishment on his face.

"Very shrewd of you, sire." Merlin couldn't believe how dense he could be.

Arthur turned to his manservant, a look of annoyance on his face signaling the beginning of a witty comment forming in his mind.

Before he could actually say something sarcastic and most certainly demeaning, more music started filtering into the room from outside. Merlin and Arthur looked at each other before walking quietly to the door. Arthur grabbed the doorknob, looked at Merlin once more, and yanked the door open.

There, walking down the hallway with her arms full of laundry, was Gwen. Arthur moved to talk to her, but Merlin stopped him, gesturing him to listen.

_My hands are searching for you_

_My arms are outstretched towards you_

_I feel you on my fingertips_

_My tongue dances behind my lips for you_

_This fire rising through my being_

_Burning I'm not used to seeing you_

_I'm alive, I'm alive_

_I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healing_

Merlin looked away from the swaying Gwen to look at Arthur. The look on the King's face was priceless. His eyes was glazed, his mouth gapping. He looked as if he was looking upon the gates of heaven, which, in his mind, he might be.

Gwen was his personal heaven. She was what helped get him through everything bad that happened, from Morgana's betrayal to Uther's death. She was his rock. To see her singing in such a way with a look of love and devotion on her face must have just reassured his feelings and thoughts about the young servant girl.

Merlin looked towards Gwen once more as she moved even closer to them as she continued to sing.

_My hands float up above me_

_And you whisper you love me_

_And I begin to fade_

_Into our secret place_

_The music makes me sway_

_The angels singing say we are alone with you_

_I am alone and they are too with you_

_I'm alive_

_I'm alive_

_I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healing_

_So I cry_

_(Holy)_

_The light is white_

_(Holy)_

_And I see you_

_I'm alive_

_I'm alive_

_I'm alive_

Merlin had to look away again as Arthur moved from beside him. He had left the room and was slowly moving towards as Gwen, looking as if he was dazed. But, Merlin knew better. Arthur always had that look about him when Gwen was concerned.

_And I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healing_

_Take my hand_

_I give it to you_

_Now you own me_

_All I am_

_You said you would never leave me_

_I believe you_

_I believe_

_I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healed _

Gwen was just finishing the song when Arthur reached her. He drew her into his arms and kissed her deeply, seeming to pour every once love and devotion that he possessed into that single motion.

"Okay," Merlin said, quietly, "Maybe this mistake isn't _all_ bad." And with that he quietly snuck out down the other end of the hallway to give the couple some space.


End file.
